Many years ago Cally and I helped  to lead a youth group (I know we still look young). We had the privilege of leading some to the Lord and poured our lives into many, investing time, prayer, help and counsel as they grew in God. One day after a difficult time in that church we happened to be walking down the street when two of the past group saw us, looked up and crossed the road to avoid us. It hurt, badly.

Love will cost us, and if we are not prepared for that then we have not understood the gospel.

David wants to show kindness (2 Samuel 9:1). The King of a nearby territory of the Ammonites dies (2 Samuel10:1) so David wants to extend to his son kindness and show loyalty. However David’s love is rejected and gets him into trouble. Hanun (the son and new King) was suspicious as doubts were fed to him by his princes. He let people feed him untruths about another person and allowed that picture to grow in his mind.

Be careful of people feeding you untruths about other people.

David’s kindness was treated with harshness.

So Hanun took David’s servants and shaved off half the beard of each and cut off their garments in the middle, at their hips, and sent them away. 2 Samuel 10:4

It’s that horrible side of our sinful nature that distorts the view of a person so that others react unfairly. As Christians we can feed others with sinful  thoughts about a person or people because we don’t like them or feel threatened by them. I have a phrase that I use quite often that I hope illustrates this  “ I do love Nigel, he’s a wonderful pastor, but I do so wish he wouldn’t…”  it’s manipulation and wrong. It’s I get what I want by distorting the view of another.

Everything Hanun does is ill advised. It was foolish to reject David’s kindness and be falsely persuaded by his advisors that David’s heart was anything other than honest and loyal.

David’s response to the humiliation caused to his men was one of protection and not to expose them.

When it was told David, he sent to meet them, for the men were greatly ashamed. And the king said, “Remain at Jericho until your beards have grown and then return.” 2 Samuel 10:5

David will not allow these men to be dishonoured or humiliated or ashamed. Rather than expose them he protects them.

As soon as Hanun realises what he has done, he prepares for an expected retaliation, in this case war. This distortion of truth has led not to release and peace but conflict. Not only that, he draws in others to the conflict, other nations and kings are dragged in now. When we sow distorted views of other people it smashes unity apart and creates instability all because of words wrongly spoken about one person.

Our kindness will be tested and sometimes not received, but what are we going to do? We may be misrepresented, lies may be spoken about us but what are we going to do? We are going to display Christ in us and continue being kind despite the knocks, in doing so we are being Christ-like. 

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

Be kind to one another, it’s the opposite of being bitter but it’s more than that, it is to be useful to, to be helpful to. It’s not conditional or according to your assessment of a person, it is a command be kind to one another. The kind person will look for ways to be useful or helpful without judgement. The bitter person will purposefully never be helpful or useful. Kindness adds, bitterness takes away. Paul in 1 Corinthians 13 says that love is patient and kind. Being kind to one another will test your patience. It’s easy to find the faults in others, but why not look out for opportunities to be kind, to bless, to be useful, to help. Treat people as God has treated you.

Also Jesus said this:

“Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” Matthew 5:11-12

Can we justify such counsel to people in pain and hurt “Rejoice and be glad!” I see two possibilities: either this is the talk of an insensitive, immature ivory tower theologian who has never known what it is to scream with hurt, or this is the talk of one who has seen something and tasted something and knows something about a reality that most people have never tasted or glimpsed.

This is the Lord speaking. It is not some pastoral novice that blunders into a funeral wake slapping people on the back, saying, “Praise God, anyhow.” This is the Lord. And he says to his disciples, most of whom will know martyrdom, “Rejoice and be glad” when you are persecuted, when you suffer. How can he say this?

He can say it because he knows, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that the reward of heaven will more than compensate for any suffering we must endure in the service of Christ. “Rejoice and be glad, for great is your reward in heaven.” There is a mystery here, the mystery of joy in the midst of agony, the mystery of gladness in the midst of misery and groaning and this mystery is contained in a miracle, namely, the miracle of faith — the bedrock assurance that heaven is a million fold compensation for every pain. To the degree that you believe what Jesus sees in heaven is to the degree that you will be able to rejoice and be glad in suffering. “Rejoice and be glad, for great is your reward in heaven.”