I had such a romantic view of church leadership where you preached great sermons, people applauded your efforts and you built a church of hundreds overnight.

Do you know how many times people have complained to me or choose to not listen to pastoral advice? I had one occasion where someone stood in front of my face and said “I don’t care what you say or the Bible says.”  I have hidden people’s sin only to have my own sin pointed out. I have received hate mail, not just to me but my family. The romantic notion has well gone, what remains is “did God say?”

Despite being anointed by Samuel to be King, despite Saul’s death, despite David having a substantial following, he soon realised he had to face conflict with himself and with others.

We are looking together at 2 Samuel 2:8-32.  David was trying his best to win over the hearts of those who were close to Saul, but he came into a conflict of direction with Abner. David was anointed to be king, Abner was the general in Saul’s army and his cousin (1 Samuel 14:50). He was in charge when David killed Goliath and had known David since he was a young man. They had previous!  Saul and Abner were together when Saul plotted to kill David. On another occasion David rebuked Abner for not protecting Saul (1 Samuel 26:14-16). Abner felt he would lose his influence and Joab was more likely to become the general of the army. To protect his position and to influence people Abner put another member of his family as king in parts of the land (vs 8-9).

Why oh why are there struggles for power and position in churches, if you crave after both of these things I question your call to lead.  See Jesus:

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Philippians 2:5-8

Also, David had to lead whist coping with a man Joab who would not be led. Joab was David’s nephew. He was one of three brothers, Joab, Abishai and Asahel. Joab would turn out to be a great general but David could not control him. David in 2 Samuel 3 described him as wicked and difficult. It would be Joab who would be involved in the killing of Uriah and David’s son Absalom. He was a career soldier with a taste for war.

He was a destroyer who would not be led. Can you be led?

Abner started a civil war which was eventually to be settled by hand to hand fights by twelve pairs of soldiers (vs 12-15). The fights included grabbing hair and thrusting swords. The combat was inconclusive and all twenty-four died (vs 16). It led to a battle where Abner’s forces were slaughtered (vs 17). The three brothers Joab, Abishai and Asahel ran after Abner but Abner refused to strike, but Asahel was persistent and Abner swung his spear and killed him. This ended up in a bigger conflict.

David was discovering that leadership was not as easy as he first dreamt of when Samuel anointed him as King. If you like, there was opposition to his leadership and conflict in his church, an embarrassment when going to the next fraternal meeting. Knowing the call of God is foundational but one thing is for sure, if you begin to lead others you will be criticised. No one will be a significant church leader if his aim is to please others and seek their approval.

Paul said,

“Am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”  Galatians 1:10

If criticism disables us, we will never make it as church leaders. I don’t mean that we must be the kind of people who don’t feel hurt, but rather that we must not be wiped out by that hurt. We must be able to say with Paul

“We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.” 2 Corinthians 4:8-9

We will feel the criticism, but we will not be incapacitated by it. As Paul says

We do not lose heart. 2 Corinthians 4:16

So to lead is not a job offered by an organisation; it is a calling given to you by God:

“He set me apart before I was born” Galatians 1:15

and you have to know that deep within your heart. That’s how you can take the knocks.

Your calling is to serve the Lord among the people of that church. “What we proclaim is not ourselves but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus’s sake” 2 Corinthians 4:5

I am afraid the perfect church, the perfect church leader are not found this side of heaven.

the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness. Romans 12:8

So if you are called to lead, then lead with zeal despite the challenges.