My old pastor Ray Gaydon would often describe church as like snooker balls that bumped into each other and then returned to their pockets. I do wonder if we are yet to discover true biblical friendships that go beyond bumping together. If the church is the people, why are we spending so much time doing meetings, and not being with each other and having everything in common (Acts 2:32)?
The description of Jonathan’s friendship with David I believe gives us a big clue to what friendships in the church should look like.
As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. 1 Samuel 18:1
Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. 1 Samuel 18:3
And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armour, and even his sword and his bow and his belt. 1 Samuel 18:4
If we go through this together; the main point in vs 1 is Jonathan loved David. But how was that love seen and demonstrated? It was knit together, it was attached to, which explains the heart and mindset. The expression knit refers to an inseparable devotion. Surely that is more than being in the same place and singing the same songs.
Jonathan’s covenant of love is more than a causal – hi, how are you? It is an intentional treaty, a promise, a vow, a legally binding obligation. It carries responsibilities. They agree nothing will separate them. I believe this level of devotion to each other is what the world is looking for and the church should prioritise this even above, dare I say, a meeting. It’s lifestyle, it’s living out.
By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:35
It certainly was a generous friendship. He gave David what he had himself. What’s mine is yours. More than that! Talk about committed friendship! If anyone had a right to be jealous of David, it was Jonathan! But Jonathan seems to have understood early on that David will be the next king, and you know what? Jonathan is just fine with that. He is fine with it because he loves David as himself. Instead of giving in to jealousy, he puts David before himself. That’s what love does. It puts others first.
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honour. Romans 12:10
Before we go back to our ‘normal’ church meetings, can I make an appeal to restore the foundation of authentic church friendships.
Can you imagine Paul saying to Timothy, “Don’t bother yourself Timothy. I’m perfectly okay all alone. I don’t need you or anyone else for that matter. I’d actually prefer to be left alone. I’ve matured in my faith, I have no need for encouragement and support and the companionship of others.” No! Paul saw in Timothy something that theology alone, books alone, sound thinking alone, could never. Friendship.
Timothy, I am an apostle, and on earth and in the church no one has greater authority than I do, but please, please I need you, come soon. (2 Timothy 4:9) Can you hear me? I Nigel Lloyd need you as a friend.
One last thing: Jonathan placed upon David his royal robe.
I will greatly rejoice in the LORD; my soul shall exult in my God, for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation; he has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself like a priest with a beautiful headdress, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. Isaiah 61:10
What has God done to cause this rejoicing? He has clothed his bride with salvation and righteousness. They are both amazing and extravagant gifts.
Father, as I sit and stare out at the quiet streets and wonder what is important, Isaiah’s words compel me to rejoice in these two glorious expressions of your kindness. I praise, bless, and thank you for clothing me in salvation and the righteousness of Christ.
Apart from Jesus, my works are as filthy rags, in terms of earning, gaining and maintaining a relationship with you.
But trusting in Jesus’ work on the cross, my filthy rags have been exchanged for a grace-given wedding garment. Hallelujah, many times over!
Amen
Without a doubt, the life and times of David are expressive of our “Christian” walk with God.
Camaraderie is extremely important and to amuse the LFC fans (if there is any reading this), we ought never to walk alone. However, it becomes very complicated (and even more challenging), if and/or when there are differences to be ironed out, lost or betrayed trusts to be re-enacted, faults to be forgiven, emotional pains to bear, and so on – in the course of forged friendships and relationships in our walk with God. I think this is a bitter pill to swallow, but it does come with the dose and it is what is – some people eventually walk away and others hang in there over the long haul (even where there is little or nothing to keep them, but their “covenanted” hearts), when alliances wane and become frail or fragile due to the aforementioned.
We definitely need more “covenant” friendships and relationships similar to what David and Jonathan shared to thrive and achieve more in all ramifications. Oddly, the world (brotherhoods, sisterhoods, sects and societies that are not founded on “Godly” or “Christ-like” principles) appears to understand and portray this guiding principle of forging and nurturing “covenant” friendships/relationships better than most.
As a church elder once shared, as we draw closer to love and try to be there for each other, there are bound to be frictions and we may step on each other’s toes (and possibly hurt (consciously or unconsciously) one another). So as we learn to love we must also leave room for forgiveness. For love may not be “utter” without forgiveness.
Thank you very much indeed for sharing.
I’m always blessed each time I read and ruminate on these posts.