It’s 2 Samuel chapters 19 and 20. David is about to return to Jerusalem to resume his reign over the nation of Israel. In order to win the favour of the people David removes Joab as commander of his armed forces, replacing him with Amasa. It looks as though Joab is finished and yet in just a few verses it is Amasa who is finished, killed by Joab. Once again Joab is named as the commander of Israel’s armed forces. Who could have imagined such a thing?

It doesn’t stop here however. David had been forced to flee Jerusalem due to the revolt instigated by Absalom. Whilst David never abdicated his throne, Absalom acted as king for a few days until he was defeated in battle and his life was taken by Joab. David is invited to return to Jerusalem to resume his rule over the nation of Israel but, on the way, there is strife between the men of Judah (David’s tribe) and the men from the other tribes of Israel. Somewhere between the Jordan river and Jerusalem a rebellion is instigated by a man called Sheba and the Israelites forsake David as their king and return to their homes. Through a strange twist of fate (humanly speaking), Sheba is cornered in an Israelite fortified city. Through the intervention of a wise woman of that city, Sheba is put to death, the city is delivered, and the division of Israel is reversed. To sum up these events: (1) David is king; (2) David is not king; (3) David is invited to be king again; (4) David’s kingdom is divided; (5) David’s kingdom is united.

On top of all this is an incredible display of gore and violence. This story would most certainly receive an 18 rating for its violence. Joab runs his sword through Amasa, spilling his intestines onto the path, then the army of David stops to gawk at the sight of this man wallowing in his own blood. The grand finale is the beheading of Sheba, whose head is then tossed over the wall of the city to Joab and his army outside.

This fascinating story has all the makings of a movie. But it’s something more specific that I want to draw your attention to, the confrontation between Joab and David in 2 Samuel 19:1-9

The armies of David had won a great battle but the effect of David’s grief upon his people was that he turned their victory into mourning. This shows how our emotions can change a room or a meeting, not that David’s emotions were not genuine, it’s that he imposed them on others. He created an atmosphere. Paul said this to the church in Thessalonica.

But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. 1 Thessalonians 4:13

You see, at the church in Thessalonica, some of their loss had moved them to self-indulgence and unbelief. Here David’s loss made his people feel ashamed that they had won a great victory. It just goes to show the impact of our emotions on others and in this case a people who did not know how they should react, so the people stole back into the city.

So, it takes a brave person to go where others fear to tread and in this case it’s Joab (vs 4-7).

David’s cry is O my son Absalom! O Absalom, my son, my son (vs 5)

He could not stop singing this song. He was still locked into his excessive mourning and lack of perspective. He was mastered by his feelings, and our feelings were never meant to master us. Nobody is saying that his heartache wasn’t awful, it’s just that his emotions had locked him in to the same tune.

God is not against feelings – not at all, you only have to read the Psalms to understand that. It’s true that some Christians lack deep and profound feeling and experience in their walk with God. At the same time, some Christians live by their feelings.

David’s problem was not in what he knew, that is, Absalom’s tragic death and the role he played in it but rather David’s problem was in what he had forgotten. He had forgotten that God was still in control, that a great victory had been won, that he had many loyal people, and that God showed great grace and mercy to him. When someone is overcome in tragedy or sorrow the problem is not in what they know but in what they forget.

In walks Joab, this makes me jump a bit! The question is, do you and I have someone in our lives like Joab and someone who will be this brave?

Then Joab came into the house to the king and said, “You have today covered with shame the faces of all your servants, who have this day saved your life and the lives of your sons and your daughters and the lives of your wives and your concubines, 2 Samuel 19:5

Today you have covered with shame the faces of all your servants, who have this day saved your life. Wow! Joab gave David a stern wake-up call. “David, your excessive mourning is selfish. It isn’t all about you. These loyal, sacrificial supporters of yours deserve to feel good about their victory and you are making them feel terrible. Snap out of it.” Let’s ask ourselves a question, could we receive this?

Joab infers that it’s almost perceivable that if Absalom had lived and all of David’s men had died that day, then it would have pleased him. This is a sharp truth delivered in love with precision. Joab wanted David not only to see that he was foolish in his excessive grief but that he was also being selfish. It’s true, is it not, that sometimes our excessive emotional wallowing can be very self-indulgent.

Now therefore arise, go out and speak kindly to your servants, for I swear by the LORD, if you do not go, not a man will stay with you this night, and this will be worse for you than all the evil that has come upon you from your youth until now.” 2 Samuel 19:7

Go out and encourage the team – they deserve it. If you don’t you will lose most of them, more than that it will help you and it will help you to gain perspective. Go and do something for someone else. So David receives Joab’s rebuke. There’s another punch, can we receive a rebuke?

Then the king arose and took his seat in the gate. And the people were all told, “Behold, the king is sitting in the gate.” And all the people came before the king. Now Israel had fled every man to his own home. 2 Samuel 19:8

Then the king arose and took his seat in the gate. David didn’t feel like doing this. His feelings told him to stay locked into his excessive mourning. Yet David let his understanding of what was right be bigger than what he felt. We never again hear David crying out, “O Absalom”. Being amongst his people changed that song. Isolating himself to his own thoughts was not going to help him overcome his grief but being generous and grateful to the people God had given him was.

So all the people came before the king. This is what they needed to see, David sitting as king in the place of authority (sitting in the gate). This told them that their sacrifice was worth it, that it was appreciated and that David was with his people. Joab’s rebuke worked because Joab cared enough to say it, and David was wise enough to receive it.

The tribes debate receiving David back as king (vs 9-10). David had survived Absalom’s attempted overthrow but the kingdom was not yet restored to David. The tribes of Israel understood what David had done for them in the past but they also understood that they had rejected him as king and embraced Absalom but that Absalom was now dead.

It left the people of Israel in a dispute about bringing back the rightful king. They only seemed to want David back after the false king Absalom failed. In the same way, we often only decide to bring back King Jesus when our false kings fail.

“The folly of their allegiance to Absalom was clear, it had brought only misery and confusion. They were on the wrong side; they had rejected their true king, and therefore the situation was full of unrest.” (Redpath)

It’s not all peace and unity yet for David. So true, we can strive and pray for peace and unity and we should, but we need to remember that only perfect peace and unity will be found in heaven.

as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth. Ephesians 1:10